a not-so-hot girl summer.

This is gonna be an entry about my complaints and awakenings maybe you see yourself in my pain maybe you’re here to laugh at the fact that I have a blog, I get it.

First I wanna order food but I have to save money but I can’t cook so I’m gonna chew on this water. I’m sweating I had two t-shirt changes for my underboob sweat, my hair is doing its own thing which is fucking with me because I like control.  Then, yes there is a then and it may trigger my only two readers ( hey you loyal duo)  I was afraid to eat watermelon in front of white company today, I know I know.  I felt that everyone was waiting for me to take the first piece and I thought, is this still a thing? The watermelon stereotype? It can’t be, cuz I’ve seen two elderly white ladies argue over the last watermelon at the Whole Foods that I always get followed in. Anyway, fuck that, I will not be moved I’m strong I– I.. I ate the watermelon, in the bathroom. I felt like a nursing mother in a fitting room who has been shamed by people in the Baby Gap.

No, I didn’t eat in the bathroom but I did create a funny dialogue in my brain about someone walking in while I’m sitting on the toilet eating watermelon, caught watermelon handed while holding a bowl to catch the juice embarrassingly escaping the side of my mouth.  Listen, I take such pride into evolving into a person that no longer submits to white comfort and I  am someone who has no issue disrupting the status quo. But here I am that deep resentment of my own self  (that I forget I have to check on sometimes and work with keeping it estranged.) There I was still moving within the shadows still hoping not to make too much noise, all this to say,  I want an unapologetic hot girl summer I want all my black folks to have an unapologetic hot girl summer, can hot girl summers be genderless? Is it just an expression? I hope so, cuz that’s what I want for yall. And I think that means self interrogating what we’ve internalized,  also a little chest sweat, disobedient hair and getting a plate full of watermelon and eating it in front of white people.

Thanks for reading!

I have a new podcast It’s Not Me It’s You with my weird friend ShiShi Rose on iTunes. Go check out the trailer. Coming soon to Stitcher, Spotify and Soundcloud!

Support my work, and to my two loyal readers eye see you eye thank you!

-Christy DeGallerie


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